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If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
-- Frankie Boyle
Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
-- Frankie Boyle
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
-- Anonymous
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
-- Harry S. Truman
Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
-- Conan OBrien
In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-- Margaret Thatcher
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
-- Dick Van Dyke
For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.
-- Pablo Picasso
All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
-- Miguel De Cervantes
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-- Marcel Achard
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
-- Sean Williamson
A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.
-- Gloria Steinem
You don't know a women till you've met her in court.
-- Norman Mailer
The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men more.
-- Colleen McCullough
My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
-- Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)
Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who'll think he's Tiger Woods.
-- Frankie Boyle
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
-- Anonymous
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
-- Harry S. Truman
Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
-- Conan OBrien
In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-- Margaret Thatcher
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
-- Dick Van Dyke
For me there are only two type of women: goddesses and doormats.
-- Pablo Picasso
All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
-- Miguel De Cervantes
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-- Marcel Achard
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
-- Sean Williamson
A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.
-- Gloria Steinem
You don't know a women till you've met her in court.
-- Norman Mailer
The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men more.
-- Colleen McCullough
My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
-- Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)
