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    Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

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    [GM]Aphrodite
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    Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by [GM]Aphrodite on Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:00 pm



    Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

    Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong ramp model na stage actress na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.
    Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?
    In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?


    Lubos na gumagalang,
    - Bartolome -

    - ANG REPLY -


    Dear Bartolome,

    Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at kalachuci mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?
    Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na lang talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

    1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.
    Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart."

    2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

    3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

    4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

    5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

    6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

    7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit. (para sa mga hindi maka-“gets”, kapag tinanong ka, ang sagot mo ay, “sapagkat, ikaw lamang ang tanging ilaw at liwanag sa buhay ko”, o kaya naman ay, “you light up my life”…

    8. I-text mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

    9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

    10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

    11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko."

    12. Pagatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

    13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bakit? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

    14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended.”


    Handang tumulong lagi,
    - Bob Ong -


    _________________
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    kyut

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by kyut on Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:47 am

    astig.. medyo nkaka tawa ^_^
    kaso kaka bord read ehh
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    TheNutCracker

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by TheNutCracker on Wed Aug 19, 2009 8:13 pm

    nice gn kakatwa kso kakapgod mag basa hahaha... pero natapos q
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    Vanix

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by Vanix on Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:51 am

    Galing tlga ni BOB ONG>>>>>>


    IDOL!!!!


    lol!
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:06 am

    What is that? scratch
    Can anyone translate it to me? bounce
    I want to join you there. Question

    itong

    Number of posts : 130
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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by itong on Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:38 am

    Translate DAW Sabi nung ASO.... Basketball
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:39 am

    hey guys. What are you saying.
    Don't make me pissed off. Neutral

    yeah you better won't. I will promise you'll regret that one. Twisted Evil
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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:50 am

    ahhh marriane...

    its just bob ong telling style of courtmanship....

    that's all
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:53 am

    Not the topic.
    I don't know what itong saying if it is about me or in the topic.

    But really? I wanna know about it. Maybe I'll wait for my lil sister, so she can translate it to me. So I might able to join the topic here.
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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:55 am

    let me trans late if for you...

    he says "TRANSLATE NYO DAW SV NG ASO"
    in english he meant
    "HEY GUYS, TRANSLATE IT SAID BY THE DOG"

    that what he said
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:00 am

    Fuck him! I am not a dog. Mad
    He's lack of I.Q... He doesn't even know what he is saying. silent
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    LiL`CoroneL

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by LiL`CoroneL on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:02 am

    HMMMM...

    SAID WHO WILL BECOME A GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND...

    JUST APPLYING..

    AHAHAH...

    MAY ENGLISH IS WRONG GRAMMAR.. HAHAHHA

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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:02 am

    hahaha...

    you're like a monster when you got to your nerves...
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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:04 am

    LiL`CooL wrote:
    HMMMM...

    SAID WHO WILL BECOME A GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND...

    JUST APPLYING..

    AHAHAH...

    MAY ENGLISH IS WRONG GRAMMAR.. HAHAHHA


    can't understand what you meant....

    please elaborate
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    LiL`CoroneL

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by LiL`CoroneL on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:04 am

    whose monter??
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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:05 am

    no not you ...

    your sister when got angry haha
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:06 am

    Maybe she's trying to say is who is available? Can she apply as her girlfriend, or boyfriend? maybe.

    Am I right sis?
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    [GM]Aphrodite
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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by [GM]Aphrodite on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:32 am

    Hi sis marriane, ill translate the whole topic for you when i got home tonight. ^_^


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    LiL`CoroneL

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by LiL`CoroneL on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:32 am

    YUP SIS YOUR RIGTH..

    OTHER GUYZ IS NO GF..

    YOU SIS DO YOU HAVE A BF NOW??

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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:35 am

    I still don't have any plan for that sis.

    by the way thanks GM.

    itong

    Number of posts : 130
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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by itong on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:36 am

    Hey marriane,

    Don't get @ me MAD ok, i know you're bored too that's why i did that..

    Is that your PET? try too revert the size of your pic and the pic of the dog, coz` em confuse when i read your posts..

    Mwaaah!!!! a kiss for peace,, SORRY 4 that again. I love you
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:37 am

    Ok I will accept your sorry.

    Yeah it's my pet. Her name is Doxxy.
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    akocryuzaki

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by akocryuzaki on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:38 am

    GM..

    are there any announcements?
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    marriane

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by marriane on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:39 am

    Yes GM. What is the latest news about the server?
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    LiL`CoroneL

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    Re: Panliligaw 101 (The New Style)

    Post by LiL`CoroneL on Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:42 am

    marriane wrote:Ok I will accept your sorry.

    Yeah it's my pet. Her name is Doxxy.

    HI DOXXY..

    NICE NAME SIS..

    HAHAHAH..

    AW!AW!AW!..



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